“Why I’m Ditching My Bras”

 

This is another interesting topic of female sexuality. It seems to be supported by a wide range of research and evidence. We support the general concept that a woman should not feel obligated in any way to wear a bra, and that they were probably invented by men in order to keep female sexuality repressed.

There’s a bit more that we want to address in the same post, and a part of a future post will address it. It’s simply that women should not be embarrassed by having soft parts to their bodies because this is pretty much inherent to female sexuality. The amount of jiggle and sway that a woman’s breasts produce if she chooses not to wear a bra should not be a problem for her.

https://medium.com/candour/why-im-ditching-my-bras-205b8733f0cd

 

“Challenging Sexist Stigmas Around Female Masturbation”

We’ve been reading a lot on Medium lately, and came across these two articles by the same author. Whilst we don’t agree with every single word she says, we do endorse the general approach:

At the same time, we’ve been taking in a variety of Christian views about the subject, which unsurprisingly are quite diverse and varied. It is certainly a good thing in this day and age that there are Christian authors and leaders who are prepared to challenge the common assertion that masturbation is inherently sinful or harmful and that Christians shouldn’t practice it. Jessica Harris is the latest we’ve been reading on this subject in her book “Beggar’s Daughter”, and Harris says that whilst she does not recommend masturbation, she recognises there are situations where it may be used that do not warrant condemnation and shame being heaped on someone’s head. We assert that a Christian woman who practices masturbation as an act of worship is enhancing her sexual purity, not detracting from it, and that therefore it should be considered as a very useful tool for helping Christian women to address the various pressures they are placed under in relation to their sexuality.

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood: God Made You Sexy

We feel this post addresses what is a really important aspect of our ministry, and that is singleness. So much of the wider church’s theological and ministerial assumptions are made on the basis that all adult people will become married, when we know that is not the case. And even if it were, marriage is preceded by singleness. And the most important thing about singleness is that we need to get to be good at it in order to prepare for marriage. In other words, we can’t expect marriage is going to solve our life problems if we haven’t successfully addressed them whilst we were single. Our marriages will be so much stronger and off to a better start if we have been able to prepare ourselves properly whilst single. Furthermore, there are those who for various reasons may remain single for an extended period, or in fact for their entire lifetime, and the church at large is only just starting to wake up to these realities as we escape from the distorted misogynistic influences of complementarianist theology including its offshoot the purity movement.

Ok, that may seem an odd way of addressing the title of this post; however, it ties in very well with how a godly woman addresses the sexual attraction she poses to males. Because it is necessary for such women to successfully resist the sexual pressure they will come under from men in society. Unfortunately that pressure is overwhelmingly driven by sexual lust that is extremely prevalent in the world, which is primary evidence that the world at large remains male dominated and misogynistic in general. So it is a fact that as a woman of God, you do have a beautiful body and that you do attract sexualised attention from males, much of it unwanted. We are not going to get into discussions about the way you should dress or whatever, but what is clearly necessary for you in order to preserve your sexual purity is to become very good at asserting yourself and the ownership of your body.

To do this, we believe, you have to accept that parts of your body are very “sexy” and will attract the most attention. The key is to assert that you own and have control of these body parts and that their sexy qualities are first and foremost for your own use in choosing to glorify God with your body. As long as you are single, as you will be throughout adolescence until you choose to marry, if that is the course you are to follow, then essentially that is the primary focus for your sexuality, to have it centred around Godly standards that are worshipful to Him. We have already explained in many previous posts how we consider masturbation can be a devotional act as long as there is no sinful activity such as lust involved. Singleness is a time for you to discover your body and develop your sexuality in order to prepare yourself for marriage, or for a percentage, to remain successfully single for life.

So the most important aspect of singleness is for you to accept that God has given you a sexy body, something that is a very significant part of your whole sexuality. We believe the way to address this is to assert and own that sexy quality of each particular area of your body in a time of sexual devotion. Choose to enjoy touching or caressing each of those parts during such a time and give yourself permission to become sexually aroused each time you happen in the course of your everyday private moments to touch any of the particular areas of your body or catch a glance of yourself in a mirror. Give thanks to God for the sexual qualities of each body area and speak out words of personal affirmation for yourself as well. The best form of sexual affirmation is, of course, to masturbate at the same time as making these declarations, which also helps you to assert the ownership of your body and the focus of your sexuality as part of your single lifestyle.

We have chosen to address this topic at a time when it is becoming clear that society has really not become more enlightened since the rise of feminism and Christian egalitarianism. Despite the shift in attitudes to female sexuality in general, society is still overwhelmingly dominated by the sexual demands and expectations of males. The problem as it affects Christian women, in particular singles including adolescents, sees them, due to the widespread availability of pornography via the Internet, placed under ever increasing pressure to yield to male sexual advances. Because of this, Christian women are actually not all that far behind men in their rates of usage of and addiction to pornography. We believe that Christians have been given the means, through masturbation, to successfully resist temptation to sexual adultery by being able to address physical pressures within their own bodies in a way that enhances and strengthens their sexual purity and is fully pleasing to God. For single Christian women, these techniques should be regularly practised as part of acts of personal, spiritual and sexual devotion.

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood: God Made You Maternal

Obviously this article is addressed to Christian mothers or mothers-to-be, although we are going to specifically focus on the challenges of sexuality for mothers who are either pregnant or in the early post-natal phase. Pregnancy is, of course, something that is supremely feminine in character. One way we can look at it is to summarise the impacts into two categories: the physical aspect of your changing body, and the growing expression of your sexuality. Pregnancy is certainly a time when your sexuality is a more prominent feature of your life, and it is a great time to focus on how your sexuality impacts the most important relationships in your day to day life. This can contribute in a material and spiritual way to personal growth and strengthening family relationships in future years.

One of the key impacts of pregnancy is naturally going to be on your love life. That will change a lot during and immediately after pregnancy. Depending on your exact situation, there may be times when you don’t desire your husband at all and when you want him more than was the case before you got pregnant. In any case, you can masturbate when you need to, and since you’ll want to cuddle your belly as the baby inside it grows larger, combining a belly rub with masturbation during the day is a great way to affirm your sexuality during pregnancy. You’re still a sexual woman and the functions of your genitals that relate to arousal, touching and orgasm still work pretty much the same as they did before you got pregnant. It’s important to normalise your sexuality as much as possible during pregnancy because there are so many challenges to it resulting from the numerous physical changes that occur during those nine months. This means that as long as there are no restrictions placed on sexual activity by a medical professional, you should go definitely go for it.

Whether or not you want your husband at any time, your husband can certainly want  you more than would have been the case before pregnancy. Men can find their pregnant wife’s round belly very desirable because of its shape, and there is also the added factor that it contains the baby that you have both been making, potentially causing your husband to want to affirm you and your sexuality as well as the baby. Hence in the times when you are kissing and cuddling together, “belly sex” can become more of a physical focus for both of you. However you may want to balance the extra cuddles with consideration of the physical demands of penetrative vaginal intercourse which are increased during pregnancy. We suggest this is a great time to make use of non penetrative sex such as masturbating together or hand stimulation of each other’s genitals, which if practised gently and sensitively with mutual respect, can really add an extra dimension to sexual intercourse, especially as the pregnancy approaches its conclusion. If there are times when you are both horny but you can’t stand the thought of being touched by your husband or you need some physical space from him, allow him to masturbate and let him affirm you and encourage you to masturbate. Perhaps you can both masturbate at the same time but in two different rooms, so that you can at least think of each other, even if you can’t quite manage sharing each other’s bodies during the session.

The post-natal recovery period just after giving birth, which can last for six weeks or more, is a time when regular sexual intercourse is not recommended as your internals need time to heal and return to normal. It’s also going to be a busy time for both of you dealing with the demands of caring for your new child. However, at least for you, it is very important to spend that time helping to get your sexuality back to where it was before the pregnancy. Mothers can find that the physical trauma of the childbirth experience really puts them off sexual intercourse, and spending the time when they have it to rediscover the physical and spiritual pleasures of their genitals through masturbation and orgasm can really work wonders for their love life. Likewise allowing your husband to masturbate during this time can help to keep his desire for you alive during those weeks, and depending on how you feel, it may be possible during some of that period to enjoy some sexually intimate times by substituting penetrative sex with mutual masturbation. Working together to facilitate sexual development of your body during this period is a great way to get your love life back to normal and bring the benefits of a healthy intimacy together back into the marriage and family life after pregnancy.

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood and Manhood: The 3 Ds of Personal Sexuality Ministry

This particular post applies equally to men and women. Based on what we have already instructed in this blog, we believe sexuality ministry is governed by the “3 Ds” as we call them. That is, the ministry outcomes of sexuality ministry can be three things starting with D: sexual development, sexual devotion or sexual discipline. Since our key focus is self-ministry, in which a Christian man or woman can take some time out for a specific personal focus on their own ministry needs, we advocate that the 3 Ds are achieved by a godly believer in a masturbation session, regardless of their age or whether they are single or married. We’ll break down what each D means as follows.

  • Sexual development is a focus on developing one’s sexuality. It is especially important for adolescents to have this one as their key focus from the time they begin puberty, as this will be key for them in setting themselves up for future marriage. Single adults also need to have this focus as they work on developing relationships that will lead to marriage, and a small percentage of these may have an extended period of singleness if for some reason their sexual development takes longer to occur. There are also those who remain single for life for various reasons, in which case the focus of sexual development is more targeted towards maintaining purity.
  • Sexual devotion is a focus on devoting one’s sexuality to God. It is based on the adaption of the usual Christian call to personal devotion to apply specifically in the context of personal sexuality. During a session of sexual devotion the believer is enjoined to undertake the usual devotional practices such as prayer and worship. Devotion gives an answer to what should be an appropriate focus for a believer’s thoughts during a masturbation session, that is, a focus on what is upright and holy.
  • Sexual discipline is a focus on disciplining some of the most demanding aspects of one’s sexuality. An example is sex drive, especially for males who as a group are much more in need of controlling their sexuality and keeping it directed to Godly purposes. Sexual discipline has huge rewards for those who practice it regularly, giving them a very effective defence against the temptations of lust and pornography. In a marriage it can enhance the relationship between husband and wife by taking pressure off either partner to be constantly available where the other partner has the higher sex drive in the marriage, or for example during or just after pregnancy where sex drives and availability are impacted in various ways.

We believe that the 3 Ds are especially relevant for maintaining sexual purity, and in the case of singles, innocence. These are of course very important qualities that greatly benefit not only our relationship with God, but with our husband or wife if we are married, or our future partner if single. Masturbation according to the 3 Ds does not diminish sexual purity or innocence in any way and in fact enhance them. However if sinful practice, such as the use of pornography, has been brought into masturbation at a previous time, it will not be possible to regain sexual purity until all issues relating to that practice have been resolved.

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood: God Calls You Innocent and Pure

Like all of our posts in this series, this one has taken a while to write. We try to spend a lot of time in prayer and reflection on each topic, inasmuch as we view this blog as the primary public expression of our ministry the way that it is established at the moment. The ministry progresses in stages of fresh revelation every few weeks so in reality that is what it takes to get a post together. There are many more posts coming in this series, both relating to men and women, but this is the latest one for the present.

When we talk of “innocence” in a Christian context we usually think about children, who have no latent concept of sexuality prior to adolescence, then during that phase they become familiar with these adult concepts as they grow up. With our experience in the educational system, we know that some teachers prefer to educate children at this pre-adolescent stage of life, because that transition brings about so much change in their behaviour. Of course, for Christians, we have this much greater concern that the increased knowledge of sexuality that heralds adolescence brings with it the potential for sexual sin. Still, it is important to know what is a sin and what isn’t, and this post is primarily directed at those women who are focused towards living a life of godly sexual purity throughout their lives regardless of whether they are a child or an adult, single or married, childless or in motherhood, etc.

We believe that innocence is what describes not only the phase of life prior to adolescence, but also the discovery of a sexual body in that phase. In other words, we believe that a godly woman discovering that her body has these sexual parts and that they produce these physical pleasures, is not inherently committing sin. Masturbation or self touching of your sexual body parts and enjoyment of their pleasures does not constitute sinfulness any more than the enjoyment of food or the pleasure of the wind, sand or sun on your skin, and you have not ceased to be sexually pure from doing these things. Hence we believe that self touching or masturbation of your breasts or genitals does not detract from sexual purity as a single woman, and can in fact enhance and support it.

Sexual purity of course is not limited to single women, in fact all Christian women should strive to achieve it throughout their lives. The important fact is that you aren’t limited to achieving sexual purity by remaining a single virgin for your whole life, although abstinence is the most essential component of sexual purity for single people. In marriage the most essential component is monogamy. Within both singleness and marriage, masturbation when carried out for the purposes of sexual devotion or sexual discipline does not compromise sexual purity. Innocence is the state in which you remain sexually pure as a single person where there is no other person in your life, prior to marriage. We just simply want to assure you that you can discover your sexual body parts and enjoy touching them without losing your innocence, since we see innocence as the state in which your body remains known only to you. To remain innocent you need to continue making lifestyle choices through this phase of adolescence to refrain from sexually impure practices and to remain abstinent from sexual interaction with another person. These are lifestyle choices for Christian women to undertake during the young adulthood phase of their lives preceding marriage.

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood: God Made You Sexual

We aren’t rushing to produce these articles in this series, even although we have planned a few of them. We’re not sure how many there will be, but this latest one has been a month in the making. Our experience with the last article series that parts of had to be rewritten multiple times shows that there isn’t necessary merit in rushing into print. The story of our ministry and work is that it is evolving and it can take a bit of time to get together all of the knowledge that goes into each article.

So here is our latest article about Christian womanhood, and the theme is “God Made You Sexual”. What do we mean by this? Well, we’ve often referred to complementarianism as being a set of theological beliefs that reduce the essentials of feminine sexuality and really try to make womanhood an extension of male sexuality. The idea there is that (a) a woman is made to be an extension of a man’s life and (b) her sexuality is quite inferior or subservient to a man’s. And we find that such beliefs in the Church are a reflection of the same sort of beliefs that have long been held across society until the advent of present day feminism. Unfortunately these attitudes remain extremely entrenched and are stereotypically expressed in a great deal of the pornographic material that is readily available today, and in the many dismissive or crude terms used to describe parts of a woman’s body. The primary inspiration for this article came from reading Peggy Orenstein’s book “Girls & Sex”, in which she describes the cringeworthy content of some sex-education material available in parts of the US. Orenstein’s account is not written from a Christian perspective but it could be so easily describing content produced by a Christian organisation because of the Church’s long history of denying female sexuality.

As we’ve noted to date, we have the theological viewpoint in egalitarianism that upholds the idea that a woman is equally capable of ministering in a church to the same extent that a man, but egalitarianism hasn’t bridged the entire gulf that complementarianism covers. More particularly, egalitarian theology doesn’t address the sexuality of Christian womanhood in the way that complementarianism does. There haven’t been (to our knowledge) publications produced in the name of egalitarianism that counter the “purity culture” material that have come out of organisations like the Southern Baptist Convention. It is probably truthful to say that a lot of Christian books about female sexuality or marriage have been produced from a complementarian viewpoint. There is definitely a gap to be filled there.

So let’s just try and address this issue for our female readers: God made you sexual. What do we mean by that?

You, Christian woman, have been created by God in a certain way that makes you distinctively female. This is addressed by the fact that you have some physical parts of your body that are specific to female sexuality, such as the physical appearance and components of your breasts and genitals. Along with your appearance comes the fact that you can have experiences in your body that are related to these sexual parts, such as arousal and pleasure. You can also have some other experiences, like periods, that are uniquely female. What is really relevant to this discussion is that you do have sexual organs and you do have the ability to become sexually aroused and to engage in activities that produce sexual pleasure for you. You also have a right to be recognised in having these experiences in an equal way to the recognition of men’s sexual experiences in society. Ultimately our expectation is that your sexuality is recognised in the Church in that you are recognised as having a sexual body, created by God for purposes irrespective of whether you are married or single.

If you are single at any point of your life, the experiences which you can have as a godly woman which are related to sexual arousal and pleasure will be experienced through masturbation in an act of sexual devotion, as we have referred to it elsewhere in this blog. If you are in a Christian marriage then these experiences are most likely to be taking place with your husband and have a wider range of permissible outcomes, such as procreation. However, there should be nothing in either your experiences or outcomes, when in a marriage, that is mandated or dictated to you by your husband or your church or any other person or organisation in a way that disregards your own right to control your body. This means there is no reasonable expectation that the leadership of your church, or your husband, have an automatic right to subjugate you and trample on your personal rights. Ultimately all sexual experiences that are shared with your husband are to be conducted on the basis that you and him are equal partners in the marriage and that mutual respect or agreement without trampling on each other is the best approach to a harmonious marriage with a component of sexual intimacy.

Saying you are sexual is also saying you have a right to have that respected. This means that the Church has no role in promoting misogynistic concepts such as that a woman’s body causes men to lust. This is because men have a choice of whether to lust or not, irrespective of whether women’s bodies are sexually desirable or whether they have chosen to wear certain clothing styles. for example. In some societies in the world, the idea that women’s breasts should be sexualised, for example, is actually abhorrent. That’s why, for example, in parts of Africa, women can go bare breasted and be considered normal for so doing. The problem is that with the blaming of women culture that is so prevalent in the church, based on the failure of men to take responsibility for their own actions in choosing to lust, women are actually being made unequal, and to be subjugated sexually to men. Thus the stage is set for women’s role being assumed to primarily provide for men’s sexual desires or needs, and women’s own sexual desires or needs being repressed or denied.

Since purity culture largely excuses or minimises Christian mens’ sexually misogynistic behaviour towards Christian women, what is actually to stop us egalitarians from advocating that Christian women should be afforded the same rights as men have historically enjoyed in patriarchal churches? Actually, we aren’t approaching it that way. We don’t see a place for turning the tables as much as that. These churches have promoted that men have dominion and control over women. As much as radical feminists would like to turn the tables, that is not a recipe for women to be respected in the Church. The answer is to give equal recognition to Christian men and women and accept that means that women have the right to dominion over their own bodies and are not in any way obligated to surrender this to men or church leadership.

Let’s summarise this for the benefit of our female Christian readers. Mighty woman of God, your heavenly Father has created you with a sexual body. Because of your body, you have the ability to express yourself in sexual ways that are still within the bounds of how a godly woman should behave, but which in the past some churches have criticised. You have the right to choose singleness for yourself at any particular period of your life, and the enforced singleness that is the best way for you to get through adolescence is a great time for you to get to know your own body and entrust in God to help you navigate a new complex landscape of sexual development and maturity. It is entirely your personal choice if you want to remain single throughout your life and no one in any church has the right to dictate to you that this choice is inferior or somehow contrary to godliness. In turn, you also have the choice to devote your sexuality to God and to enjoy the fruits of sexual pleasure in ways that are pleasing to God inasmuch as they are not inherently sinful (i.e. through masturbation in a godly way).

It is also your choice if you wish to become married and to enter into some of the common outcomes of marriage, such as parenthood. You have the right to be an equal in a marriage and to be treated with respect, whether it is by your husband, or by the Church. This means that you have a right to refuse sexual pressures placed on you by your husband. You also have rights in other sexual aspects of the marriage, such as whether to have children, and if so, how many of them and the particular timing of conception. You also have the right to object to being sexualised by your husband and expected to behave in certain sexualised ways within the marriage, and you have the utmost right to expect your husband will be as committed to supporting the marriage as you are.

Ultimately as a woman of God, your body is as equally a temple of the Holy Spirit as any Christian man’s is, and the undeniable biological and physiological facts that you will experience sexual arousal, and that you will be able to experience sexual pleasure, is something that the Church must recognise and support. It must equally be able to support that Christian women can choose whether to experience these things in celibate singleness or in marriage, and respect either scenario without question., And above all, it must ensure that its male membership do not have any rights to dominate, control or sexualise its female membership.

“Sex After Jesus: A sex life limited by religion and marriage ends, and one of discovering the joys of the ‘sinful’ body begins”

We don’t write this blog to castigate or marginalise people whose views we disagree with. When we post something that we might not completely agree with, we just post a note to that effect. And whilst in this case we aren’t in complete agreement with the author of this article, we do take a very keen interest in misogyny, especially when it occurs in the Church. This blog isn’t about politics, and so you won’t find us taking political stands on the controversial issues of sexuality. What does matter to us is finding ways to bridge the gaps on a down to earth, coalface level, one person at a time. And we might not be able to bridge all the gaps. We might be able to bridge a gap in evangelical understanding about sexuality, but we might not be able to bridge a much bigger gap that has led to a person turning away from their faith and walking out of their evangelical community. Ultimately some of those really big questions involve a person’s own relationship with God and can only be solved directly in communion with Him.

Anyway here is the article by Lyz Lenz published on Medium, which is her account of discovering truths about her femininity and female sexuality that her church never told her about. We’re guessing her account refers to multiple different churches rather than a single one, but it portrays an all-too-familiar picture of how conservative churches marginalise women by denying their humanity and sexuality. It seems the Church will be the last bastion of misogyny in society and that’s really disturbing.

https://gay.medium.com/sex-after-jesus-b13e9f295d1d

 

Sexuality of Christian Womanhood: God Calls You Beautiful

This is a new series we feel is important to start writing because we feel we are getting new insights into Christian sexuality through our studies and reflections all of the time. The key function of this blog is to address the distorted view of traditional sexuality which has been promoted by the complementarian theological school. As we have noted in previous posts, complementarianism reduces and minimises the roles of women both in the Church and in society as a whole, and it fits quite neatly with misogynistic prejudices that have existed in society for a very long time. Indeed the prevalence of Christian egalitarianism has been low until the 20th century and its ascendancy to become more mainstream seems to have paralleled the rise of secular feminism.

The key issue for womanhood in all contexts is this understanding that you are more or less equal to men in practically all respect and that in societies such as in Australasia you can enjoy access to practically all the same rights and roles as men do. The one key difference is of course related to the biological, sexual difference in the design of your body that enables you to bear children. Unfortunately that has been the key reason over the course of history why women have been treated differently and still are in many societies worldwide. For Christian womanhood, these issues are much the same as in society in that as we mentioned above, the development and prevalence of theology has followed the overall trends in the world. However the main issue is that as society has changed, some churches have continued to cling to their traditional theological viewpoints and are resisting patriarchal roles and structures.

Regardless of what type of theology applies in the church you are in, as a woman of God, He has created you to be equal in participation in all aspects of Christian life, but if you wish to have the opportunity to take part in all aspects of ministry, you will need to choose a church community that respects and upholds your God given gifts and talents. We aren’t specifically addressing those issues in this particular blog post. Instead we are intending to focus on how God created you and how He saw you and continues to see you as a woman of God. At some level this can be related to what you do in a ministry role or how faithful you are at using the gifts and abilities He has given to you. At another level it can simply relate more to your sexuality as a whole and how God created it to be very good and beautiful. That is certainly the most important matter that we want to discuss here.

You have been created with a physical body that is distinctly different from a male body. These particular differences are really only relevant to your ability to bear children and not to a great deal else, although it is well known that you have a different temperament from a male and react in different ways to the same situation. In respect of how God sees you and values you, there is no difference except for the particular female-specific role that relates to procreation. However, those differences in your physical body seem to be responsible for a constant stream of negativity, denigration and unwanted physical attention from males. Sadly, whilst feminism as a whole has made great strides in addressing these prejudices, manhood has yet to fully catch up and there is a continuing resentment at many levels, coupled with a seemingly perpetually ingrained opposition to feminist gains and respect of womanhood as a whole. An example of this prejudice is some of the rather coarse and vulgar terminology used to describe key female body parts, including the c-word, which is in fact derived from words used in other languages and not as the intended swear word it has become in the English language. We believe that womanhood as a whole should make every effort to reclaim this word from the misuse and denigration that is part of the wider and concerning trend of physical, verbal and sexual abuse that is overwhelmingly directed at females by males.

God created you as a Christian woman to be beautiful and He calls you beautiful in many ways. So your body is beautiful in all aspects. This especially applies to the distinctly female parts of your body, and the parts that are particularly unique are of course the genitalia and reproductive organs, the former partly external and partly internal and the latter internal. You also have parts that are similar to those that males have, but which have a distinctly female appearance, such as your breasts, buttocks and thighs. As a woman, you are likely to be very sensitive about the perception of physical beauty associated with these key areas, and others, of your body. These areas are part of the distinct sexual characteristics of your feminine body. God created them to be different in your body in order to complement the appearance of the male body and that is all that matters in this context. These appearance related and other characteristics of your body parts are a part of what makes you beautiful in God’s eyes.

We understand that most Christian women are sensitive about their physical appearance and some of the other distinctly female characteristics of their bodies and we understand that these sensitivities have many aspects, one part of which is how wider society, particularly males, relate to these characteristics. Our aim in writing this post is to encourage women of God to value their distinctly female characteristics, including their sexual aspects. Part of the key theological distortions of complementarianism, overwhelmingly amplified by wider society prior to the 20th century, has been to make women feel inferior by denigrating or minimising the worth of these aspects. They say that women aren’t supposed to have any sexual feelings and that their main role is to provide for the sexual needs of a husband and bear children to him. These claims greatly minimise the roles and also value of women as a whole. The most important concept we could hope to be able to address in this article is that as Christian woman, you are in no way beholden to a man to find your purpose and worth either in society or in the Church. Whilst the sexual parts of your body can be used within the context of marriage, if you choose to marry, to form an intimate bond with your husband and to procreate and raise children, these parts also have a context in their own right without that expectation. During any phase of your life when you are single, including in adolescence, young adulthood or at any other time, including if you make a conscious choice to remain single for any reason, your sexual body parts can be used in relation to a life of worship and submission solely to God. God created your body just for this purpose, and when you are single, or when you choose times to be alone if you are married, your body can be fully submitted to God and focused on worship of Him.

As we have made clear in our views expressed in other series of articles posted on this blog, we believe that God has given you the various parts of your body, including the sexual parts, to be used in acts of worship to Him. In relation to the parts that are considered to be sexual, actual sexual acts carried out using these parts are those acts that involve another person who may be physically or non-physically present during the act(s). However, a godly woman who chooses to engage with God whilst at the same time making use of those body parts is able to use them in worship to God, just as every other action in your physical body such as eating, exercise or sleeping is able to be considered as an act of worship to God. We therefore have consistently throughout this site expressed our view that physical arousal and the response of physical stimulation of genitalia and other body parts that increase sexual arousal can be considered as an act of worship when carried out solely in submission to God and when focusing solely on Him.

We use the generic term “sexual devotion” to describe a time when a man or woman of God is engaging in this manner with God. We emphasise that these sexual parts of your body belong first and foremost to you and were created for distinct purposes that you alone have choice and ownership over. When you choose to enter a time of sexual devotion with God you can then choose to be physically aroused and to respond to that arousal by touching various parts of your body in a way that increases arousal to a point of physical climax. This in itself is not a sinful practice, provided that care is taken not to introduce any sinful practices as part of the arousal session. We use the term “sexual development” to describe what we believe is a key reason for a Christian woman or man to engage in times of sexual devotion. This means that these times are a great opportunity to develop your sexuality for any roles you may undertake in future, and to overcome negative perceptions. When you enter adolescence you are just starting to become aware of key aspects of your womanhood and just like the development of physical bodily characteristics, sexuality characteristics need time and experience to reach their full potential.

Sexual development is very important during adolescence, but also at other times, for example for women who need a time of healing from sexual abuse that they may have experienced during their lives. It is also very important as an ongoing activity for Christian women to practice throughout their lives simply in order to deal with the constant negative messages and actions that are directed against women in our society, or merely by a sense of being challenged by what these body parts look like or some of their particular functions, such as menstruation. We are writing this blog in particular to any woman of God who is in a space where you have negative perceptions of specific feminine body parts which have been shaped or influenced by such messages or by sexual abuse or some other circumstance. We want to encourage you to believe that God created your body as beautiful in His eyes and that He wants you to feel beautiful in all parts of your body. We encourage you to engage in times of sexual devotion to God by affirming of your body parts, such as by physical stimulation and arousal to the point of climax and orgasm. We believe that the physical pleasure that you receive in your body at the time of such stimulation is in itself an affirmation of the beautiful nature of these body parts and also of the physical and spiritual value of engaging in the acts of devotion.

We conclude this article by encouraging you as a woman of God to begin engaging in sexual devotion if it is something you haven’t done before or if it is something that you need to do more of in order to give and receive affirmation of the specifically feminine parts of your body, that they are very beautiful body parts and are of great worth in God’s sight. We encourage you to speak words and prayers of affirmation over those body parts in response to the physical pleasure that you receive as you touch and stroke them. We encourage you to let God minister deeply into your spirit as you receive messages of affirmation of physical and spiritual beauty through the pleasure of arousal and orgasm. As you become more knowledgeable in sexual devotion and how much your body needs, ask God how much is appropriate for you. This may vary from weekly or less, to daily or more. It is important to discover this especially if you are in a marriage because it is of prime importance to focus on how sexual devotion can enhance rather than detract from your marital relationship. You may find that as you become more assured and confident in your times of devotion that you want to have them more often and provided that these times are truly devotional and don’t detract from other parts of your life, then more regular timing or frequency may be beneficial to you.