Sexuality of Christian Manhood: God Calls You To Achieve

As with our newly launched series on Sexuality of Christian Womanhood, we are launching a companion series for Sexuality of Christian Manhood. There are similarities and differences between these. Male sexuality has not been subject to the same pressures and distortions as females have experienced, but is still corruptible due to pressures from within society, and these tend to have a greater influence than those from within the Church, the view of which is largely unaltered in New Testament times.

Whilst these days in the evangelical Church we try to promote men and women as being more or less equal in practically all respects and having similar roles in society, male and female sexuality is very obviously different in various respects. If you have read the previous blog post introducing the Sexuality of Christian Womanhood series, you will have some familiarity about what we regard as the most important messages that women receive from society about their femininity, and what they need to hear from God. Men also receive negative messages and pressures from society, although not as greatly as women do, especially since men create many of these pressures against women, and men also need to hear a message about how they can redeem their sexuality to meet Christian standards and expectations.

The key aspect of male sexuality is that it is very much focused on performance, as are many aspects of the male way of life, and that underlines our theme that God has called you, young Christian or old Christian man, to win. He has called you to win in the battle to conform your own sexuality to godly standards, as well as in the way that you relate to others in society, particularly women in general. We of this blog espouse Christian egalitarianism as the prevailing theology that should influence how women are regarded and treated in the Church. Since men have the biological wiring to find most women sexually attractive, it takes a very special level of sexually focused dedication for a man of God to be able to uphold respectful standards of behaviour towards just women in the church, let alone women in wider society. Thankfully, many of the same techniques referred to in the womanhood series can be applied by Christian males to ensure they are meeting the required standards, both in their own personal lives and those of others around them.

As a whole, male sexuality is relatively simple compared to female sexuality and is largely focused on sexual performance whether a male is single or married. Sexual performance for single Christian males can be addressed through masturbation, and in the same vein as we have written about womanhood and in other series in this blog, this is a key component of sexual devotion as a tool of sexual development, which is a process that is key to the development of a healthy and godly focused male sexuality. A key difference that we believe exists between women and men, however, is that whilst masturbation for the former is optional, for the latter it is virtually essential. We do strongly believe that due to the much greater pressures on men from their biological wiring differences and significantly higher levels of testosterone production, the much stronger male sex drive has to be actively mediated and redirected through masturbation to a significantly greater extent, and we expect that the actual need for a Christian man to masturbate in sexual devotion in order to control his sex drive and give him a productive sin-free outlet for his sexual appetite, is significantly higher than for a Christian woman.

We believe that sexual devotion is the key component by which a Christian male can productively direct his sex drive in a positive way that honours God and respects those around him. We are assuming here that you have read other parts of this blog, and we recommend that you do read the series on Sexuality for Christian Womanhood as well as this series to understand some key principles we have outlined elsewhere in the blog. We believe the need for sexual devotion and sexual development will commence usually in adolescence due to the maturation of the key sexual organs in a male’s body. At that point, masturbation generally becomes a desirable habit for males, and from the very beginning it is imperative that masturbation is used in a productive and God-honouring way. This in part or whole implies that no sinful activity is used in conjunction with it. Males find it more difficult to resist lust, but this is not actually impossible to achieve and is very important as a tool against the widespread proliferation of male-focused pornography which is readily available on the internet these days. Sadly, much of this soft and hard core pornographic material exploits existing misogynistic prejudices already in society. But with the right attitude, Christian men are able to hold back the tide of pornographic temptation by the use of sexual devotion during times of masturbation and we believe from our own ministry experiences that this is the most effective technique in existence that makes it possible for men not only to resist the pressures of lust and temptations of pornographic material, but also to recover productively and rapidly from addictions related to these issues and from general sexual addictions. This is possible because the object of the male sex drive is able to be redirected and refocused into Godly purposes instead of worldly pleasures. In so saying this we do believe that the physical pleasure associated with sexual arousal and orgasm does belong to each individual Christian man to be enjoyed by themselves when single or shared with a wife in the consummation of holy matrimony. For a single Christian man it is only to be used in a sexual devotion context that does not involve any other person.

We believe that masturbation is to be treated as a normal and healthy activity for a Christian man to participate in as long as it is focused as sexual devotion. We also expect that most Christian males will commence masturbating at adolescence and continue to do so as needed throughout life. For a Christian male, the periods of their life when they are single are those in which masturbation is most useful to them and in which the frequency might be expected to be the greatest. We expect most Christian males will have a frequency of masturbation that varies from several times per week, up to several times per day. In the case of married men who masturbate, the frequency thereof will be dictated according to the priorities of marital responsibilities and duties and it is important that masturbation does not detract from or substitute for these. As noted above we believe that it is healthy and productive to encourage Christian males to commence masturbating as a form of sexual devotion at the onset of adolescence. It is for each such male to determine how often they need to masturbate as it is essentially a private matter between them and God.

We conclude this article, as with the first article on Sexuality of Christian Womanhood, to encourage you, our reader, as a man of God, to be ready to engage in sexual devotion from the time you first reach puberty, or to begin engaging in it if you haven’t done so up until now. Your body is subject to many pressures that cause sexual arousal, and one of these is the production of semen which is stored within your reproductive system and causes physical fullness and sensitises you to increased sexual arousal every couple of days. Naturally your own sex drive and level of desire will vary greatly in any case. Unlike a Christian woman you do not have any episodes during which your desire to masturbate may be reduced due to hormonal changes. As such it is very possibly the case that you may desire to masturbate every day if you are single, possibly more than once in a typical day. Your body will tell you when this is necessary, which can be acted upon whenever convenient, provided that you are engaged in the practice of sexual devotion and are therefore ensuring that all times of masturbation are focused on appropriate Christian standards and outcomes. We encourage you to speak words and prayers of affirmation over your sexuality and sexual body parts as you in turn receive messages of affirmation of your personal devotion and commitment to healthy godly sexuality during the various stages of physical arousal and pleasure. Your sense of physical achievement which is a key component of male sexuality as an outcome of sexual activity, is fulfilled in the certainty that you have succeeded in this session of sexual devotion with its important goals of disciplining and training your sexuality in a godly manner. It is very important for a Christian male to focus on sexual devotion with these expectations in mind and we firmly believe that masturbation incorporated for the sole purpose of sexual devotion is the means to achieve that commitment and should be viewed as such as a useful tool of achievement. The key goal is to have a sexual focus that is effective in containing and redirecting your sex drive in a way that honours the Christian male’s commitment and focus to at all times in engaging in daily activity that first and foremost glorifies God, and secondarily other people in your life such as your wife, other family members, and members of your church and community.

New article series

Soon we’ll be starting two new series on the Sexuality of Christian Womanhood and the Sexuality of Christian Manhood. We just feel that we need to keep writing the blog posts and talking about the insights we have into sexuality from a Christian perspective and in particular, the need to escape all of the considerable harm caused to womanhood by complementarian theological teachings. That type of theology has simply played into existing misogynistic viewpoints in society as a whole in which female sexuality is denigrated and downplayed in a major way. Male and female Christians in an evangelical context need to know and understand the key aspects of their sexuality in a way that allows each gender to respect, value and honour the other and truly be equals in the church and in society as a whole.

There are a couple of key changes in these series from the way we’ve written on this blog up until now. One is that we will not be planning out a fixed number of articles in a certain order, instead there will be an unknown number of articles that each address a random topic. The second change is that the articles will be written in the second person rather than the third person, addressing the issue from the perspective of the reader. We just want to make the blog a bit more personable and easier to relate to. The first article is going up very shortly.